This is Part VI of a X part series.
Part I,
Part II,
Part III,
Part IV,
Part V,
Part VI,
Part VII,
Part VIII,
Part IX,
Part X
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Via
Texas Arcane:
It was dark inside the Quik Mart, except for refrigerator lights in the glass display cabinets way in the back. For a second I thought I heard shuffling to the right in the dark over by the magazines, but just then somebody waved at the cash counter on the far left.
"Ho!" said this guy, about in his late teens, very skinny and looking quite nervous. "Come on back," he waved me on. I walked back to the counter through the aisles, stepping over some smashed glass and bags of powder on the floor. The clerk was dressed in casual clothes and he tried to give me a friendly smile, but he was making me anxious because I could see something had him really scared badly.
"Listen, I'm not supposed to be open," he whispered, folding paperwork on the counter, "I just came in because my boss told me to pick up something in the office and then lock everything up." He glanced over at the right side of the store, where my eyes had adjusted to the darkness enough to see there were four people standing reading magazines. "These guys came in behind me and they won't leave. Listen, what do you need?" he asked.
I said, "I just wanted to get some milk, bread and butter, maybe something sweet, is that okay?" I said, keeping my voice low.
"Can you help me get these guys out? You're a big guy, are you in security?"
It suddenly hit me. I had not changed clothes since I went off duty at Rodeo Drive three days beforehand. "I don't give a rat's ass about the store, you can take whatever you want and I'll lock it up. But first I have to get these guys to leave." I nodded, "Okay, I'll try to help. Are they armed?" I asked, feeling pretty apprehensive.
"Frig, man, I dunno. I'm scared to even speak to them again," he murmured.
I looked over at the four guys mulling around. "I'll get them to leave," I said, speaking with more confidence than I actually had.
As I walked over to the magazine stand I started to gear up my security guard voice and bearing, long honed from dealing with trouble at Park La Brea and Rodeo Drive over the past year and a half. Any of you work security will know exactly what I am talking about.
As I approached them, I could now see them a lot better. All mexicans, two guys so short bordering on dwarfism but obvious gang members. Another guy older who was rheumy eyed like he was drunk or high, slim boned. The toughest looking guy was an ornery looking dude about 200 lbs, muscular build, hateful looking bastard about 5'10 or bigger. So I had weight and height on the big wolf, but I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I was confident. Truth is my heart was pounding and I was frightened really badly. For all I know all these guys could draw guns and blow me away in the next ten seconds. Of course I was thinking I could not believe I let my wife talk me into leaving the Desert Eagle at home.
The two dwarves reached for their crotches and start swaying like bad-asses as soon as I got close, smacking their lips and looking pretty loco. These short guys might be the first ones to pull the trigger if they were trying to prove something. I kept my face a blank, innocuous mask, absolutely emotionless. Remember that nothing at all is frequently way scarier for the other guy than a tough expression, angry stance. Complete blankness, a dead focused stare is always the way to go. Telegraph nothing at all, not even hostility. The more emotional the other guy gets, the more completely empty your own expression, it tends to break the nerve of almost anybody.
The thin boned drunken guy piped up first. His three companions were flexing their muscles and swaying like monkeys. "What up?" I heard a lack of certainty in his voice that gave me a boost. Go straight in, don't mince words.
"This fellow at the counter says he is closed. Why are you guys still here?" I asked, staring at the big guy instead of the thinner one.
"f**k you," said the big guy, "this is a f**king dem-ock-krass-see. We have a right to be wherevah the f**k we want to." Strangely enough, there wasn't enough bass in these guys voices. They were putting on a good show, but I could tell they were going to fade.
The little mexican dwarf had a bandanna around his head. "White boy, you probably going to get a cap busted in yo ass you talk like dat." The second the guy said it, I knew instantly these guys had no guns. They were probably gang wannabes and second stringers who mowed lawns for a living but regularly scared white folks with their loco act.
I grabbed the little guy by the hair and arm, immediately started to use him as a shield to shove the others towards the front of the store. As I was pushing, I grabbed something off a store shelf and put it in my pocket. "You guys have been asked to leave. It's time to go. Nobody wants to hear your long winded story. Let's go, you're done."
The biggest guy was yelling and cursing me, bandeho, mericon muthafugga and all that, but he was being carried towards the door like everyone else as I leaned into the dwarf and shoved him into his friends. The thin drunk was looking furious and homicidal but oddly enough now that I knew they did not have guns I was not as scared of any of them.
I opened the front door and packed them all out, cursing, bitching, whining.
As I tried to close the door and lock it, the big one decided then he was going to do something, as he was pushed outside. He stuck his arm in the doorframe and reached for my throat. He started to try to choke me and was cursing me as his friends behind him cheered him on. "Gringo pussy, I will strangle you f**kin' bitch!" He couldn't get a grip on my neck, I bent his fingers back until he screeched and released that hand ... then used the other one to clock a hard right hand on the side of my face. It hurt. His friends were yelling, "Kill his stupid ass, poppy! Kill him!" He went to punch me again and because I was still trying to close the door he hit me in the nose, which really hurt. I started bleeding. The other three were laughing and cursing me, "Haw! Faggit white boy, break his face!"
Once my nose was bleeding, I decided just trying to shove the door shut was not the way to resolve it. So I shoved the big guy back into the street and came out the door myself. His friends were cheering, "Yeah, poppy will kick his arse, man, you a dead white boy!"
You probably think this is the part where I tell you about this big street fight we had where I used an incredible array of amazing kung-fu moves to defeat him.
Well, this will probably be disappointing. The fight lasted approximately one second.
As "Poppy" took a step off the sidewalk, he did something that hispanics often do when they are showing off. He lifted his hands in the air, fingers spread wide, shrugged his shoulders and spun around, as if to show the whole world he wasn't afraid of me, saying, "What the f**k you goin' to do, beyotch?!? Whatch yoo goin' to do?!?"
As he turned around to face me, I hit him on the bridge of his nose with a 60 oz glass bottle of Gerber Baby Food Turkey Mash which I had grabbed off the shelf as we were exiting. I threw it as hard as I could and released it about two inches from his forehead just as he was turning around.
It is hard to describe what happened unless you were there to see it. It was like somebody detonated a thermobaric fuel bomb on the end of his nose with a Turkey Mash payload. I actually had to flinch away and shield my face with my arm to protect myself from the flying glass shrapnel. I reckon the 60 oz bottle when it hit him must have been going well over 100 mph or faster. There was a colossal explosion of baby food, pulverised glass shards and pieces of label up to about ten meters away.
There was this microsecond everybody was frozen. He just stood there, face a blasted bloody mess, eyes welling up with blood, then cupped his hands over his ruined mug and fell backwards with a terrible scream. The other three were so stunned they remained half crouched about five seconds before they could even realize what had happened.
"OH JEESUS CHRIST, HE SHOT ME, f**k ME HE SHOT ME I'M DYING," he screamed, his hands covering his face with blood coming out through his fingers.
The thin guy ran over to him, started sobbing and trying to hold his head for him, "He didn't shoot you, Poppy, I think he hit you with something, oh sheeit man you are fugged up!"
"OH SWEET JEEZUS, MY EYES MAN I CAN'T OPEN MY EYES, I'M DYIN' MAN!" the big guy yelled, blood was gushing out of his nose, his eyes, between his fingers. There was a huge pool of it around where he was sitting. "I GOT TO GET TO HOSPITAL, MAN, I'M DYIN HERE!"
One of the dwarves started hopping about angrily, doing a bizarre little dance. "Oh, yoo is dead white boy! Paco, let's get Benny, man Benny will shoot this psycho f**kin' gringo dead! You see what he did to poppy, man that is sum wicked sheeit!"
The two of them ran off screeching about how they were "going to get Benny."
The thin drunk helped his friend to his feet and was yelling at me, "Sick white muthaf**ka, we just came down here to get beer and you have to do sumthin like that! You sick muthaf**ka, you goin' to pay when Benny gets here, watch and see!" They hobbled off together down the sidewalk, the big guy wailing and clutching his face.
I went inside the store, locked the door behind me. The clerk was shaking with fear and putting all this paperwork into a folder. I started grabbing groceries off the shelf and putting them into a plastic tote bag.
They weren't kidding. They went and got Benny. Then things got interesting.